Friday, September 9, 2011

Some days I wish our path was already outlined for us and we didn't have to choose...

...but then I suppose life would simply be a stage full of puppets on a string. I am thankful to not be a puppet, but sometimes...really, I'd rather just be shown the way than guess and hope and pray I made the right choice.

It's been nearly six months since we made the big transition back north. Do we love it, yes. Have we gotten to see and spend time with family, yes. Have we reconnected with some friends, yes. Are we happy? Hmm, I suppose that is the question of the year. When making the decision to pack our house and move a thousand plus miles north, we asked for open and closed doors. We asked for some clarity, and some comfort. So what appeared as open and closed doors, and what felt like clarity, is getting a little muddied for the lack of comfort that we are feeling.

I am in the stage where I want to work (really only part time of course), but I feel like I am hitting all the walls...waiting for the right door to open, if you will. HELLO! And Tim is still just waiting. Waiting with an uncertainty and a dark cloud over his head. His job is still only "temporary" which we knew going into this whole thing. Although, I will say now, that "temporary" is so much harder of a state to be IN than to think about being in. At this point, I think weekly if not daily, Tim is questioning whether we made the right decision. We both had jobs that we enjoyed if not loved, not to mention, were somewhat at a decent pay rate. Yet, we had no family (although we really were beginning to establish some great friendships). And here, neither of us have "steady" jobs (well I can't even seem to land one) and the pay scale...yikes! Ahh, but we do have family.

Family...thus the basis of our move, and now the reason in which we continually remind ourselves that we are here. And family really does make us happy.

But what now?! Monday Tim leaves to work out of town for the week, which could turn into months. And I am still home full time (with the most wonderful 14 month old little guy) searching to find my nitch. Hmmm, has anything really changed?

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry Reba that things feel unsettled still. I'm so thankful you moved and I pray that God would reveal His plan for you guys here, so you can get that peaceful feeling that you made the right choice. I love you!

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