Saturday, July 30, 2011

traveling with a 13 month old...

I wouldn't recommend it, unless you have a pretty mild and mellow child. Our July has been crazy busy, so busy that I still think the 4th of July is right around the corner. With a busy month, we decided to end July with a BANG! Saturday in Ephrata for a birthday party, Sunday back to Spokane for a wedding, then early Monday morning off to Illinois for a four day trip to visit relatives. But that's not where it ends...back to Spokane late Thursday night (early Friday morning as it turned out), one night in our own bed, then up Saturday morning to drive to Prosser...are we there yet? When do we sleep in our own bed for more than 6 hours? And when do we get to keep to the same time zone?
That being said, Nathan was awesome. Fussy only twice on the first flight into Denver, then slept the entire flight into Chicago, great on the bus ride into Rockford. Our four days in Illinois consisted of trying to see all our relatives around, that meant lots of new faces for Nathan. I managed to get a decent picture of him with nearly everyone. Traveling back home was not as successful, but I had to credit Nathan's great attitude and sleep schedule while we were out and about.
Would I do it again; yep...but if I had a cranky child I might second guess that.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

who am I?

I remember the first time I introduced myself as "Nathan's mom" vs. a wife, student, social worker, etc. It actually took me by surprise because it felt so forgien. Now, a year later, I feel a little more confident in my title as Nathan's mom, although there is a part of me that still seems to be missing; who am I? Perhaps I should be asking the question: who do I want to be? There are moments and stages in our lives where our 'title' changes, and this will continue to be. So who am I now, who do I want to be?
This second question is what has been weighing on me the most recently. Right now I am a stay-at-home-mom, a treasure that not all mothers, or parents for that matter, have the opportunity to be. So why can't I find joy in that? Don't get me wrong...I love the time I have with my son; I enjoy being the one to see all his 'firsts' and to teach him new thing, to sing, read, and dance with him. But there seems to be something missing for me. There are days, moments really, that I want to venture back into the workforce. I get excited when I find a job posting of a position I am qualified for. I complete the application or send in my resume and wait. But then I wonder, am I really ready? Do I really want to go back? Do I really want to miss those mornings dancing with my son, playing silly games, reading books, and seeing all his firsts? I don't know.
Some days I think it is pure selfishness: here I am blessed to be a mother, blessed to be able to stay home, and I am seeking ways to get out of the house. Peace, that is what I need to seek, peace with what i am given. Patiece to allow God's work in my life to prevail.

I used to be a writer...

Back in the day, and I am talking way back even before marriage, I used to write. There is even evidence...I have boxes of old journals. They are fun and somewhat interesting to go back and read. But then one day it stopped. My near daily journaling disappeared somewhere after college and before I met Tim. I would love to have record of our dating life and the beginnings of married life, unfortunately my thoughts just never made it down on paper. So when I became pregnant Ithought it the perfect opportunity to 'revise' my desire to write and document my pregnancy and life as a new mom. Ha! Who was I fooling?!
So here I am, 9 months after my last post, a month after my son's first birthday. I can only think of the cliche, 'where does the time fly?'
babies