And the Count Down Begins...

Okay, so according to the "due date," which we all know is just a guesstimate, this baby is scehduled to arrived in about 4 1/2 weeks. So really...baby could arrive any day he/she wishes. This momma is wishing sooner than later would be a great birth day! Honestly, I am trying to take these last few weeks in strides. There are days I am most certain that I could not be more ready, and there are days where I think, "oh my gosh I'm gonna be a mom...any day!" So the count down has begun...when will it be...? Not sure what else I could do to get ready: the baby's room is done (minues me wanting to draw and frame one more piece of art work), the car seat base is strapped in the car and ready to do, the clothes and blankets are washed (all except the actual outfits for baby I want at the hospital), my bag is not quite packed but there are miscallaneous items on top of my dresser ready to be thrown into a bag, the dog is as ready for a big shock as you ccan ever prepare him, and my husband is...we'll he is excited and nervous too. "Wow, I'm gonna be a dad soon," seems to seep from his lips every couple of days. I think it's great. He will be one of the best daddy's there is, I have no doubt in my mind.
So as this baby's birth day is soon approaching, there are some wonderful features that all mother's seem to have failed to share, rather they just clump them all in one category, "the last month." Know one ever told me my goin/pelic area would be so sore. Here I am a month out and I slowly roll myself out of bed in the morning to discover I must have been hit by a truck in my sleep, or was at least riding a horse for days. Where is the heads up ladies...I am sore! Not to mention the feeling of inadequacy, or the ability to do nothing! I try. I have a hard time sitting still and there are things that need to get done. I am learning to move slowly and in strides, and to sit and take breaks now and again, but really, where has my energy gone? where are the muscles I once had?! I am pretty certain that I strained a muscle in my upper back making the bed the other day...no joke!
I keep reading about how the baby tends to "drop" before labor, and in a first time mom this coupld occur weeks or days before labor. Well, most days, I am wishing this baby would settle down just a little bit further into my pelvis. I know that downfall is spending every 1/2 hour to and hour in the bathroom (which really isn't much different than what I am doing now), but I anticipate the ability to finally be able to breath, or at least sit straight up. Wow, what a thought! Doctor says this baby is in good position; head down, back going up my right front, leading to the butt sitting right under my right rib cage...boy does this feel great...all day long.
Oh but I am not complaining. Soon the days of sitting at my desk taking quick glances at my belly will be gone. Or sitting on the couch with my shirt pulled up, watching the waves travel accross my belly. Or driving in my car to look down and see that my belly is all lop-sided from time to time. These, I will miss. I will miss wrapping my arms accross my belly at night as I fall asleep feeling this little one inside me, adjusting to a comfortable position. But I cannot wait to actually hold this litte one on the outside in my arms and look into the tiny face and know that this little one is special, this little one is a child of God, this little one is a little piece of me and a little piece of my husband molded together perfectly. Wow, I cannot wait for this little miracle to arrive.

Maternity Clothes are Overrated...

...I want my sweats or yoga pants! I remember slipping on a pair of maternity pants for the first time towards the end of my first trimester. Ahh, they felt so good, I swore I would wear them beyond pregnancy. Why not? Who doesn't want to wear a cute pair of jean with no snaps or buttons?! Well, I've come to the decision that when this pregnancy is over, I will retire the maternity pants for the time being (I may still hold on to the tops). The end of the first trimester, and throughout the second trimester, maternity pants are great. But now that I am nearly in the last two months of pregnancy, all I want to wear is a pair os sweat pants or my favorite yoga capris. I am done with the thick 3in. elastic band around my waste that after sitting for awhile simply feels like it is adding so much more pressure to my abdomen (I don't need any more pressure). Plus, the wonderful stretch elastic that covers your whole belly...their convenient for hiding any exposed butt crack, but between that and an tank top (to help cover the ladies a little more in the work place) I get so over heated I end up wearing the elestaic around my waist anyway. Hmmm, I wonder what my boss would say if I alternated two pants everyday, one day sweats, one day yoga capris. Ahh, that sounds so welcoming!

Child Birth Class...Check: Freaking My Husband Out...Double Check!

Today we finished our child birthing class. I will have to admit, a weekend full (two very full days) of child birth, labor, pain, breathing, etc. made for a long weekend, but I think it benefited us in the end. The debate about going to a class started several weeks ago. I debated about going wondering' will this be helpful or a waste of time? Ultimately I felt we needed to go, if anything to ease a little anxiety of mine and to help educated my non-baby book reading husband. He debated about going strictly because all his buddies told him it was a waste of time. But he is a wonderful and supportive husband that gave up his weekend to sit and watch lots and lots of videos!
So the big question; was taking the child birth class really that beneficial...?
I would say yes...if anything else, it was worth seeing my husband's face and hearing a few choice words come from his mouth as we watch a live birth :)
Honestly though, I think it was nice to be able to go. The class helped ease some of my anxieties (may have produced a few more in my husband) and answered some of my questions that I had brewing. Yes, the first day was a littel intense withteh veiwing of the live birth and the lengthly discussion of the PAIN of child birth. Yet at the same time, it was presented so well, and I think I am ready for this whole labor thing...well, ask me in a couple of months. The first day also ended with a good hour of relaxation and massage. I sure am glad we took the course in one weekend, I would have hated to go home at night after a long discussion of labor, with no massage. Today forcused a little on medications and a lot on once baby arrives and the importance of breast feeding. I liked this, the focus shouldn't be on medications (which I am so not apposed to using), and should be on the health of the baby and the attachment that occurs just as soon as the baby is born. I am big on attachment so this was so great to hear. I just hope others in the class really take into account the importance of attachment. I don't want to see any of their babies come through my office.
Most importantly, the class reminded more and more of how awesome our God is! He created us, and created us to function perfectly, down to every last reflex that we're born with. So amazing.
Now I feel even more ready to meet this little one!

Childcare Woes...

I have purposely been putting off seeking the right childcare center. Actually, I haven't totally been putting it off, I have looked up locations, and a few weeks ago had actually called one place. It is on my list of things to do and I know I'd much rather do this while I have the energy, but it is also something I am dreading a slight bit. So today I called a few places to get some more info. Then I figured on my lunch break I'd go check the first place out, I was impressed a few weeks agon over the phone. They may be a little pricey, but the price you pay for child care ultimately shouldn't matter (at least that's what I think). I met with a few people, got more information, a registartion packet, a quick tour around the infant room, and even met three of the infant care takers. Everything was a positive experience. I was impressed by the cleanliness, the staff, and their philosophies behind child care (most particularly, infant care), but as I was nearing the door to leave I suddenly felt a wave of emotion come over me. My eyes started watering before I even got to my car! Never did the tears come, but the emotions were all there. Wow, and I haven't even had this baby yet! I can only imagine what that first day will be like when I drop them off...


I cannot complain though, this is not something I am forced in to. I have a very supportive husband who pretty much says it is up to me (about working versus not working), plus I have a job who is willing to be more than flexible (who else can work mostly from home with the exception of 2 days in the office?). But am I ready? What is the best choice? For baby? For me? For my husband (I have to think of him here too, because I will care emotions home which ever way I choose).


What it really comes down to...I'm scared. I'm scared of staying home 24/7 with a child. Those 2 days in the office could be my saving grace. But perhaps they might also be miserable. I am blessed to have options, other people don't always get to choose. I suppose either choice will be a good choice, as long as I continue to give it up to the Lord. Ahh...free will...hate it / love it!

flutters...kicks...summersaults...

I have come to realize one of the best feelings in the work is feeling your baby move inside your tummy. It's been a couple months now since I felt the first movements. I try to be aware of each and every new feeling my body experiences so I was lucky to be able to identify movements early on. Certainly in the beginning it was sort of a guessing game; is that...I think that's...Then one day it was so clear, I was excited and quickly got on the phone with my husband, mother and sister to report the new of the official "for certain" movement. Work during the day turned in to my consentrating less on the task at hand but became moments of silence with my hands on my belly feeling continuous fluttering. From the fluttering came the kicking, and boy does this baby like to kick. It took some time before my husband was able to feel anything from the outside. He may have felt them earlier but the patience of keeping his hand on my belly in an awkward position took some coaxing. He's gotten the idea and now our routine of going to bed and laying hand on belly is becoming ritual, because that is when the most movement seems to occur.
The other day I swear this little one was doing summersaults in there or running a marathon, I couldn't fully distinguish between the two. It was an amazing feeling and made me laugh out loud at the commotion inside my belly. As I enter my third trimester I know the movements will only become more distinct and this little one conitnues to grow and the room inside starts to shrink up. As we prepare ourselves, our puppy and our home for this little one to come join us, I often wonder what it will be like without all this movement inside...is this something I will miss becasue it has been such a joy?...or will it just become another memory in this journey of parenthood?

Tears of....nothing!

I think the emotions have finally hit me. The hormonal changes in my body have finally caught up with my tear ducts, and boy did they flow yesterday. I have to say though, having hit 26 weeks this past Friday, I can honestly report this is my first major emotional outburst. Pretty good I think. I can smile about it this morning, but yesterday, there were no smiles...well, one from my husband, but that only heightened the tears.
So why yesterday? I really am not sure. There were a couple of things that borthered me throughout the day, like my husband laying on the couch all day long watching college basketball, but nothing major. In fact, looking back, I had a good day: I woke up in the morning around 9. The weather was perfect outside so I found a cusion and got comfortable on a chair in the back yard and read my book. As the day progressed I enjoyed and nice breakfast (fresh grapefruit from the tree) and proceeded to keep myself busy. Thoughout the day I kept busy doing several loads of laundry, picking up and dusting the house, and even doing some raking of weeds in the back yard (although this didn't last long as I realized it added strain to my lower abdomin). I was even able to relax some more through the day and actually finish my book. Yes, it was a great day.
But something happened...around 4:30 or 5:00 I looked at my husband in the couch, I can't even remember if he asked me a question or even said anything. All I remember is I felt the emotions rushing in. As the tears started he asked me what was wrong (out of genuine concern I am sure). I responded to his question by reporting, "I'm just bored," and then the tears flowed. And they flowed, and they flowed! Actually, for the rest of the evening those tears were triggered easily and often reappeared.
Lovely, ahh, the joys of increased hormonal changes! How long does this last?

Cracks

The funniest thing the other day: We were over at some friends' house and their 5 year old was talking with me. Her mom told her, "Becca has a baby in her bellly." The little girl then took my hand and asked me if we could take it out right now. Her mom and I laughed and told her the baby wasn't ready yet. Then her mom said, "her belly has to get much bigger. Remember when my belly was really big?" (She has two younger siblings). The little girl thought for a minute, then ask me, "do you have cracks?" Not sure what she meant I asked a her to explain. She proceeded to comment about her mommy's "cracks" on her belly. Her mom and I both were amused as we realized she was referring to her mom's strectch marks!

Oh joy...well I don't have any "cracks" yet, but I imagine there is still plenty of time for them to come. :)